Ever had that big decision to make? I don't mean silly shit. Some examples of what I do not mean: "Should I talk to this girl/guy/whatever floats your flippin' boat?", "Should I buy this something I really don't even need in the first place?", or "What am I going to do Friday night?" These questions may be very serious to you, but that is not quite what I am going for here.
What I really mean is those decisions that will change just about everything. You know the ones that will decide what/where/who you are. I write about these choice because it seems like everyone around me has had quite a few lately. I just wanted to discuss two decisions I've encountered over the past few days.
"What I am going to do with my life?" - Probably my personal favorite. It is such a large question. That makes it almost impossible to answer no matter who or where you are in your life. We all get a little disillusioned or directionless sometimes. I will say with some confidence that it will pass. When it does, try to make some much smaller questions. Hopefully, they will be a little bit easier to answer....
Or not...
"What do I do when I hit..*insert mass life transition here*?" - This one comes up a lot. Graduating high school or college, entering or leaving some form of serious commitment, blah blah blah. I could list all of these for a while. Expect your life to stay the same forever? Everyone has to admit that this is a little boring. Changes are a little inevitable. Instead of hiding from big changes, make them your opportunity. Follow your curiosity, discover a passion, and live a purpose-driven lifestyle. Have a vision for the future and embrace it. It doesn't make much sense to hide from it. Then, you are manipulated by the future and not the other way around.
Funnier thing about making decisions, I do not know many people who actually make them all the same way. Personally, I jump with my first instinct. However, I only do this when I can change my mind. Yep, I am fickle. Another person I know, likes to wait and consider all options then make a decision and stick with it. Some people like pro/con lists. Others, moan and groan over whatever it is, while not actually even considering their choices. (This may be this least helpful thing of all time by the way)
Consider, consider, consider, then follow this: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do and damned if you don't.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
I feel like she left out you will criticize yourself. You can only do your best if it turns out wrong...fine. Make it experience and not a dwelling mistake.
Mah
anthouse@email.unc.edu
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All good points Marvin. I wish I was able to share the “Que Sera Sera” outlook. Almost every time I’m faced with an important life decision, I hit a wall. Hell, often times it doesn’t even have to be a life altering choice - that brick wall is still waiting for me to smack into.
ReplyDeleteTo calm myself, I try using the old cliché – I ask the question: “Hey, in 5 years is this going to matter? What about 10?” Even though I usually answer “no,” I don’t believe my own response. And for good reason – every choice we make affects our lives in some way. It’s our decision-making that determines the life we presently lead as well as our life in 5 to 10 years.
Eleanor Roosevelt was one smart lady… but personally, I’m often unsure what I truly feel in my heart. And even if I knew with 100% certainty, I would question it. Is it better to use one’s heart or head in these matters? I’ve got no clue – and therein lies the problem! None of us know! It’s the uncertainty that scares the hell out of me. How do I know which major to choose? Which relationship is worth sustaining? Most importantly, which path will lead me to the most happiness?
I know, I know – life’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey. But honestly, when I reach my destination I want to look back on my journey and know that I made those decisions as best I could.
I realize that all I can do is try my best, but that’s not much comfort when one recognizes that failure is a possibility.
I’ve had no major life regrets so far… So maybe that’s the trick: realizing that I’ve done a pretty good job as of yet. Hopefully all the pieces will fall in the right place and I’ll have my happy ending. As I’m totally up on my chick-flicks, I’d now like to quote “He’s Just Not That Into You” (it’s referring to relationships, but hey, it’s totally applicable to life in general): “Maybe the happy ending is…picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this: knowing after all the…blunders, pain, and embarrassment, you never gave up hope.”